The other day I pushed through a dumbbell workout (posted on YouTube by Funk Roberts) despite feeling uninspired. I had little interest in working out that evening as I was weighed down by worries of the day. Despite my lethargy, I fought through and was rewarded with that sense of completion and accomplishment that I “got it done.” It was also a reminder that sometimes the journey includes moments of discomfort, disillusionment and self-doubt.
While I’ve had my share of life experiences that stretched my ability to persevere, I learned in Spring 2020 that it was possible to extend beyond “my normal” when it came to nutrition and consistent exercise. Slowly and methodically, I began to practice a daily review of the foods I consumed and any movement that contributed to the burning of calories. When I glance back at my daily journal entries in MyFitnessPal from the first few months of this journey, I can see the gradual changes in my approach to food and fitness. At that time (March 2020), my goal was to lose around 30 pounds in order to reach a bodyweight of 200 pounds. I also wanted to move for at least 30 minutes a day as I was not very active at the time. My work involved mostly sitting at a desk prepping my lectures, conducting research or attending meetings. My daily routine involved very little movement aside from occasional strolls with my then-infant child, a task I’d split with my spouse.
I entered my weight and movement goals into the MyFitnessPal app to calculate the average number of calories that I’d need to consume daily in order to experience weight loss over a five-week period. Each night (or most nights) I’d log my daily food consumption and physical activities to see my weight projections if I maintained that pace for the next five weeks. Those projections would often fluctuate as my journal entries were all over the place. Some days I logged food totaling 500 calories below my benchmark. Other days it ranged between 100-200 calories over or under my limit. I certainly had days where I discovered that I had eaten more calories than I burned, which was difficult to confront, but it helped me see clearly what I needed to do in order to reach my goal.
In those first 3-4 months, it was all about staying below my calorie limit or being in a state known as caloric deficit, where one burns more calories than they consume. After overcoming the initial shock of how quickly I would reach 2,000 calories in day, I adjusted by still eating most of what I wanted but figuring out ways to do so without overconsuming calories. This was a period in my journey where I still consumed some types of fast food but relied on the helpful nutritional information from most fast-food restaurant chains to carefully monitor that my junk food remained within my caloric limits for the day. For instance, if I knew my 2 slices of pepperoni pizza would be around 1,000 calories (based on the publicized nutritional information) I’d calculate/estimate how much I need to consume for my other two meals ahead of time. I always made sure to eat three meals per day (and usually a snack like an apple, grapes or strawberries). I made a deliberate effort to stick to my calorie limit. I counted EVERYTHING including condiments.
The enthusiasm of my new approach to nutrition began to wane around mid-late May when I was finishing my last few weeks in my teaching position. I had learned of a possible new research opportunity with the same employer, but it wasn’t yet certain nor completely soothing at the time I was disappointed to be officially done in the classroom at the end of May. Perhaps more importantly, I was beginning to grow impatient and complacent with the whole healthy eating process. I questioned the point of what I was doing, wondering if it was necessary (or realistic) to be so restrictive with my nutrition. I began to feel the void left by the reduction of my comfort foods when stressed, which was odd given how seemingly everyone baked to find solace during the quarantine.
I had to re-examine my “why” for continuing this endeavor. Everyone has their “why” for what they choose to do, what they choose to pursue. After some vacillating, I just finally looked in the mirror asked myself “What da hell do ya have to lose at this point? Let’s see what happens if we keep going.” It wasn’t intended to be forever. I just needed to see if I could reach my goal.
By August 2020, I began to see and feel the payoff for hanging in there and forging ahead. Not only had I shed more than 20 pounds, but my body felt different. I started to have better mobility. My clothes began to loosen. Shockingly, my appetite for certain junk foods started to diminish. As did my reaction to sugar!
It was at this point that I began to realize subtle, but transformative health and wellness gains through this painstakingly worthwhile process. Perhaps my goal of 200 pounds was too small. I would soon learn that I had dipped my toe into a vast ocean of possibilities for better health that I’m just NOW finding confidence to explore beyond the shallow depths of this health journey.
I look forward to sharing more of what I’ve been discovering with you soon!
1 thought on “The Pruning”